Forgiveness During a Pandemic

I was curious. How many people during this pandemic - sheltering in place, in quarantine, or lock down - need to ask for forgiveness? 

An internet search didn’t return with a relational result, rather than a financial one, rent forgiveness, PPP, or loan forgiveness, for “covid and asking forgiveness”, until page 3 of internet search results. I’m not sure this accurately reflects what’s going on in relationships. I suspect not. Meaning, I believe that there may be more relationships in need of one participant needing to ask forgiveness, or give forgiveness, than the search results reflect. On one hand, maybe we are spending less time with others so we are offending less (not necessarily less offensive), but those we are spending time with are getting a lot of us, and we them. I suspect that we may be getting on someone’s last nerve. At least occasionally. 

Then there’s those topics (some topics that are painful or at least uncomfortable) that need to be talked about, but well, you just haven’t had the time, “gotta go, sorry”…nope. You’re not going anywhere in this pandemic, or if you do, it probably won’t be for long.

At work this week there was a Skype check-in meeting. I’m part of a small team and wanted us all to be “in” a meeting together. Our work has been fast paced, as well as complicated by the pandemic. Our productivity for August was 30% higher than the same time last year. I say this to say, we’re tired. We’re in a support role to health care workers and other health care support workers - we’re all tired. There’s so much change, which is stressful. Stress decreases energy and engagement in activities and relationships, affecting our physical and psychological well-being.

Are you tired and tired of it? When we get tired, it’s easier to be myopic. I don’t have the energy to scan my environs and process as much information. My head feels full and sometimes things drop out of it - information I need - you’ve probably heard of “covid brain”. Sometimes I forget to be patient, or kind. There’s also the loss of connecting expressions, “Why smile while wearing a mask?” no one can see anyway. It’s harder to be heard while wearing a mask, “I don’t have the energy to talk louder”.

Not being patient and kind to those we're close to negatively impacts our relationships. We hurt others and are hurt by others. We have the ability to decide what to do with hurting and the hurt. More negative expression is probably happening during this pandemic. Think saturation rather than dilution. Whom have you potentially saturated with hurtful or negative responses or interactions? Forgiveness anyone?

In this world of hurting and hurt we can give grace and forgiveness. I participated in a webinar last week by DMEC and multiple times the word, and concept of, “grace” was mentioned. Not a term that I recall hearing in business webcasts pre-covid. As employers we may need to give more grace for absences, childcare issues, technology/connectivity issues, pets participating in Zoom meetings, kid interruptions, etc. What would’ve been looked at before as unprofessional is, in many cases, understandable and unremarkable. Grace and forgiveness often go together.

If forgiveness is something that you need to give or get, please consider reading Forgive For Real: Six Steps to Forgiving by one of our own authors, Timothy L Sanford. Tim presents this topic with unique insight from his years of experience as a licensed counselor. It will challenge your thinking and feelings, engage your intellect and heart while constructing the steps you may need to climb. This isn’t a race, this is a journey.

Looking for more resources? Read this article from the Mayo Clinic for more information as we learn to live life well.

Get Forgive For Real and join us at LifEdvice in learning to live life well!