Things to Remember at the End of 2020
Aarin Harper
It’s another cloudy and middle cold day. This year of 2020 continues into another day, and then a next I’m sure, and I hope, overcasting each with a sense that time is passing both faster and slower than we can track. Most chronological markers in the form of traditions, seasonal events, have been or will be changed. It’ll be the same for the holidays…different.
I think I view life generally optimistic and believe “things” will get better - maybe not by the end of 2020 - but definitely in the future. I tend to be a realist and often see what can or needs to change and often see what will help or the direction to take. At present the number of things that need to change may appear overwhelming.
From the perspective of an optimistic realist, our current spot is tough, rough, challenging, disheartening, heartbreaking, sad. We were meant to feel these things. Being sad, or feeling down can be a normal response to abnormal situation(s).
Keeping this in mind, it’s the time of year for lists and I want to share the list below in the hopes it will provide some context for the feeling(s) you may have about your, or our shared, “abnormal” circumstances. I’ve seen many articles telling how to minimize or eliminate uncomfortableness and unpleasantness - but you know - we need these feelings too. Think inclusive “and”, not discreet “or”. Give yourself permission to feel some of the bad, grieve loss, consider what you are grateful for and, with resiliency, look with hope to the future.
The following list is from the University of Iowa campus mental health providers.
Mental Health Resources: Things to Remember as 2020 Draws to a Close
You may wish for a return to “normal.” So much has changed, so it is important to imagine your new and changed world and what you will do to navigate the changes that will be more permanent.
Leaning into the new future takes strength. You have persevered because of your own resilience and the strength of your community and family. You can and will make it even further.
Feeling badly doesn’t mean you are doing badly. Just because you feel badly about the many disappointments and losses you may be experiencing does not mean you have a mental health problem. Struggling with motivation, productivity, and other things can be normal reactions to managing more these days.
Filter out the sea of media information. If you cannot learn the news in 30-minutes or less each day, it is not worth knowing that day. Give yourself a break.
Who is in your “first line of defense?” Seeking help from professionals is great, but you already may have a support network and turning to the people who know you best can be a first line of defense when you need support.
It is OK to not be OK with how things are now. If you are struggling emotionally, remember the world is in true turmoil and you may be simply reacting to that. You can still be OK even when the world is not. You do not have to like any of this.
Destigmatize your reactions. Consider that you may be feeling stressed, sad, and/or angry about things that are stressful, sad, and angering. There is no need to necessarily label your reactions as a disorder.
This is temporary and will pass. Perspective is hard to keep during unprecedented challenging times, but remember you have come this far and the days will once again get longer, and the weather will once again get warmer. You can do this!
Know when to ask for help. Your coping skills, support systems, and resilience may not be enough. If that is the case, you need to know where to turn. This may be a therapist, religious leader, community healer, or someone else, but know where you can go to ask for help.
Take some time to feel and think. Consider what you need. Seek out a friend or resource. Consider what others around you may need. Be a friend or resource. Look for hope, peace and joy in the world around you - especially at this time of year! You may not be at “the happiest place on earth” but you are in the “most wonderful time of the year"!
And just for fun watch, “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, and hear Linus tell frustrated Charlie what Christmas is all about - peace, love and hope!
Blessings upon you for the holidays and new year - May we share in love, hope and peace.