make A change TO live well!

Hello and congratulations on your step in Learning to life well!

Change is scary for many of us, but the good news is it doesn’t have to be. Change can be mastered by working the four simple steps of the LifEdvice E4 Method. The steps are simple, but they do require thought and action to be successful and I know you can do it!

EMBRACE. EXPLORE. ENGAGE. EXAMINE.

I want you to live your best life and know that many of us, needing something between advice from “friends” and therapy, can get closer to our ideal with a simple practices.

I’ve worked in the mental health and human resources fields for over 2 decades, almost my entire career. I’ve pursued additional training to help others from obtaining a certificate in the online Science of Well-being course at Yale, to training to support individuals removed from human trafficking at Denver International Airport. I’m registered as a Psychotherapist in Colorado. I’ve talked to many people about change. Some change we dream about and some change we dread.

The LifEdvice E4 Method will help you master change in a manageable, personal, and self-directed way. The E4 Method is based on proven change-management and psychological principles. I’ve shared the E4 Method in life conversations with family, friends, co-workers, and even in chance encounters. The E4 Method developed over years helping others, and myself, implement change. I’ve seen that we often can identify what we want and even the change to make, but we just don’t know how to start or how to see the process through to complete that change. The E4 Method is your guide through the process to that change.

Let’s get started!

Use the LifEdvice E4 Method Quick Guide with prompts in the Welcome email.

You’re going to need a place to make notes to track your process. This can be a notebook, journal, app, etc.

• Determine the place you will track your work. Make it easy for you to access.

The first Step is EMBRACE.

Where are you – emotionally and physically? Use a numbered scale 1-10, with one extreme being “very unhealthy” and the opposite side being “very healthy”.

• Where are you emotionally? Note your first thought/word about your emotional wellbeing on the scale where you’re tracking your work.

• Where are you physically? Note your first thought/word here as you did above for your physical wellbeing.

Once we have a general understanding of where we are emotionally and physically – we have a place to start and can decide where we want to be or where we want to go next.

Now look at your scales. As you look at the scales try to identify at least one thing, in the emotional category or physical category (just one to start) that you would like to change to move closer to the “very healthy” end of the scale.

In this step you identify and accept where you are, and embrace the change you want to make to get you where you want to be. You have identified one thing that can help you get there.

Step 2 – EXPLORE

Now how are you going to get where you want to be and EMBRACE that change to get you there?

Look at Step 2, EXPLORE on the E4 Method guide

You’ve identified where you are and are embracing a change you want to make, something you believe will get you closer to the ”very healthy” side of the scale. Embrace the change by wrapping it with research! What do you need to do to make it?

For example, EXPLORE ideas for how to make the change you embraced by doing research on the web, podcasts, YouTube, or talk to friends, family, or experts! What do people do to eat healthier, exercise more, feel happier, worry less, or (what you decided to change)?

Step 3 ENGAGE

You’ve EMBRACED a change you’d like to make, you’ve EXPLORED ways to make the change, and now will select a few actions to ENGAGE in to make it!

Step 3 on the guide – ENGAGE

Note in as much detail as you need, information about the steps or actions you’ll be engaging in. (I find it’s helpful to note more details than I think I’ll need so I don’t miss important information/steps.) For instance, make a detailed plan and include reminders on your calendar, place sticky notes where they can’t be missed. List the actions you want to take with details meaningful to you. Think about how you can make the actions you’re engaging in easy to do. Remove barriers and obstacles that can get in the way of your engagement! Also make it more difficult to do the things you don’t want to do. Create barriers and obstacles! For example: when trying to eat healthier put cookies in a hard to reach place and nuts and fruit at eye level or on your counter top! Easy access = easy action!

Step 4 EXAMINE

This step will likely take the most time - EMBRACE it! It’s beneficial to take stock, monitor, and evaluate progress toward a goal. All ways to EXAMINE where we are and whether what we are engaged in is getting us closer to “very healthy”. Are we creating the change we wanted? Do we like the changes that are happening? If not, work out the “why.” Learning more about where we are and where we want to be equals success here!

Step 4 EXAMINE (may not be your last step)

If you’re not moving toward completion of the goal/change you selected EXAMINE ‘Why?”

Did you get off track, distracted, stop engaging? This is important. Take the time it takes to identify the barriers. Take the time to remove the barriers or make the action you’re engaging in easier to accomplish.

At this time, you could use the “Why’?” tool. Keep asking yourself “why” to your own answers – until you identify what needs to be done. Been around any 2 year-old kids? They ask this ALOT! Return to your 2 year-old self, when it was likely your favorite question!

“I’m not moving toward my goal of healthier eating, by eating less sugary snacks.”

Why?

“I forget to eat lunch”

Why?

“I get busy then grab something easy and preprocessed”

Why?

“I’m not remembering to eat a healthy snack when I do take a break”

Why?

“The fruit is at the store, and the cookies are on the counter!”

(You get the idea)

OR

It may be you now see that the change you embraced and then engaged in isn’t going to have the results you wanted, or the activities you engaged aren’t getting you closer to making the change. EXAMINE: Do you need to engage for a longer period of time, EXPLORE or select a different activity from your explore list, or just start over. YOU CAN do that! What have you learned? Write it down and even share it with someone. I’d love to hear what you’re learning in this process.

Here’s another example of the E4 Method"

(Start tracking your work using the E4 Method guide now. You can create a section for each of the 4 steps to help organize your notes.)

Let’s use the E4 Method as an outline to make a change to implement a practice proven to increase wellbeing - getting more/better sleep.

I see I need to get more sleep - my score was 6 on the Healthy scale so there’s room to improve.

I know that my sleep is impacting my physical and emotional health.

EMBRACE: I’ve accepted I need more sleep and embrace the change goal - Get more sleep!

(Step 1 - E4 Change Guide)

EXPLORE: What can I do to get more sleep?

(Step 2 - E4 Change Guide)

What do I already know to do that could help me get more sleep?

• Drink less caffeine or at least manage when I have it

• Don’t exercise late in the evening

• Stop screen time at least 30 min before sleep

• Research additional actions for how to get more sleep by searching online, asking friends and family, etc.

  • Get a fan or noise machine

  • Listen to relaxing music

ENGAGE: I decide to engage in 2 actions for 2 weeks.

(Step 3 - E4 Change Guide)

• I won’t drink caffeine in the evening

• I’ll stop screen time an hour before sleep

(Track information each day about caffeine consumption and screen time before sleep. When you wake up describe how it was getting to sleep and how you slept)

EXAMINE: Did I get more sleep taking these 2 actions for 2 weeks?

(Step 4 - E4 Change Guide)

Take time to examine each action. Was it helpful? How often did you engage in it? What were the challenges? Is a modification needed? How do I feel about the actions I chose, the results, and the process?

Let’s say I engaged in these action but didn’t get more sleep. Do I want to continue to embrace this goal or have I found I need to embrace a different change?

Yes! I’m still embracing this change goal!

E4 Method - ROUND 2 of “Get more sleep”

I EMBRACE: I keep my goal and continue to work on getting more sleep.

(Remember to track the process and notes for each step using the E4 Change Guide)

I EXPLORE: Did either of the 2 actions I took help me sleep more/sleep better?

IF Yes - the actions helped – continue to engage in these action(s)

IF No - I will EXPLORE more options

(Use the information gathered in the previous EXPLORE and EXAMINE steps to make modifications or research more options for different actions)

Were there challenges to taking the action(s)? If yes, what were they?

How can I remove the barriers to the actions and make these easy or easier to do?

I ENGAGE: I decide that I’ll continue with these 2 options for 2 more weeks to see if one or both help me in reaching my goal (Looking at my journal I see that a barrier was that I wasn’t consistent with ending screen time before sleep. I’ll try setting a reminder!)

OR

I can ENGAGE in a new action. I discovered in the EXPLORE step a new action (Does this action remove an identified barrier?) and determine the trial period.

I engage the actions for the set time period and track thoughts, experiences, feelings, challenges, successes, anything that I observe or learn in this step!

I EXAMINE: Did I get more sleep engaging in the actions?

Were the barriers managed? Were different barriers found?

(Take time to EXAMINE your notes for each action. For example you can ask: Was the action engaged in helpful? Did I use it consistently? What were the barriers? Is further modification needed?)

I can repeat the four E4 Steps as many times as I chose, until I identify what helps me move closer to “Very Healthy” on the scale for and “sleep more”. I can modify this goal or I can embrace a different goal.

Maybe I thought more sleep would help me feel better, and I engaged in actions that helped me do that. But, even with more sleep I don’t feel better emotionally. After examining my goal, I decide to explore more options and consider contacting my employer’s EAP, speak with a friend, or may meet with a therapist. If I choose a goal that is broad, such as “feel better”, encompassing many aspects, I’ll need to decide on a single aspect of “feel better”, and maybe something other than sleep, or in addition to “more sleep.” This requires more work to identify a single aspect I want to embrace for change. Some goals are emotion based and some are physically based - most have components of both. You can decide how much you want to address your feelings about the change you’re embracing. Using the E4 Method and including our feelings can be helpful and may be scary. If you have strong feelings or thoughts that you find difficult to manage I’d like to suggest you reach out to a friend, or someone in the mental health field, to share your thoughts and feelings and get support.

Continuing with the E4 Method and…

EMBRACE: I realize that feeling better really means feeling less anxious. Lack of sleep could increase this feeling…I start to notice and note when I feel the most anxious and what I’m doing. Journaling is an exercise that can help me identify a pattern. This help identify sources and connections. I also see that when I don’t do specific things I feel less anxious.

EXPLORE: I spend time reviewing my journal and researching actions to take to reduce my anxiety. I spend time thinking about the actions that make sense for me.

ENGAGE: I choose one or two behaviors to change or actions to engage in. To do, or not do, something for a specific period of time.

EXAMINE: At the end of that time frame, I examine my feelings - am I less anxious? How do I feel - emotionally and physically?

Did what I engaged in or stopped doing help?

How did, or didn’t, each action change my feelings of anxiety?

Am I going to continue engaging in these actions, keep working on this goal, OR EMBRACE something different?

These are basic examples of the E4 Method. Importantly and thankfully, I had a method to work from when I needed it. At a time when many things were out of my control, I could control this. I embraced, I explored, I engaged, and I examined. I could see what worked, what didn’t, and chose what I wanted to do. That was something. It was big.

You can do it too. You can make a change. You can build a healthier life. You can have more, or less, of what you choose.

The LifEdvice E4 Method doesn’t replace therapy or medical treatment. It gives you a tool to make change or to use alongside other treatments and tools. It may be that you need therapy, a support group, intensive treatment. Maybe you need to seek medical treatment. Maybe you’re afraid. Maybe you’re sad or discouraged. Maybe you feel pretty good about where you are and want to move on or move toward a specific goal. The E4 Method can help you. Go to the Resource page for referral information.

When you practice the LifEdvice E4 Method you can achieve the change you want. Let’s get started now!

Please share your story of learning to live life well embracing, exploring, engaging, and examining and encourage others to make their story more of what they want it to be!